And All I Got Was This Lousy Tshirt
by LJ9
Summary: Jane isn't the only one looking forward to Thor's return. Darcy's even got a present for him.


**Disclaimer:**Once again, I don't own anything you recognize, including Marvel's characters and "Eye of the Tiger." I do, however, own a baby blue Brooklyn t-shirt, bought at Coney Island on Independence Day before watching the hot dog-eating contest at Nathan's.

A while I was looking for stories with Thor and Darcy hanging out and being bros. Not finding any, I thought, 'Well, you could write one yourself.' So I did. Post-"Avengers," no spoilers, though it mentions events in "Thor." And thanks to everyone who's reviewed all the other mess I've written recently.

* * *

Darcy had a box in her closet full of t-shirts that were too big for her.

She'd started collecting them soon after he disappeared. There was at least one with the AC/DC logo, because she knew he wouldn't know the band name but would appreciate the lightning bolt. There was one from Brooklyn that was the color of his eyes. There was a Superman one because she just couldn't help how hilarious it was—would be. There was one from that time she'd gotten really, _really_ bored and had made everyone "Team Science" t-shirts, complete with last names on the back. And she'd made sure to get him one of the really cheesy ones they sold at the diner in Puente Antiguo.

She kept the box full because she'd be damned if when the guy who'd saved the world—her world—came back he had to wear someone else's shirt.

The shirt collection was like her Pandora's box, instead of just plain Hope trapped inside it was the very specific Hope That Thor Comes Back and Jane Doesn't Work Herself to Death Looking for the Einstein-Rosen-Bifrost.

And besides, she wanted him to come back, too. Although they hadn't known each other very long, Darcy considered him a friend. He was very lovable. Thor was like that one jock in high school who, even though he was All-State and a shoo-in for prom king, still treated the geeks with respect and made sure nobody picked on his little brother too much. Despite his size and strength, he didn't have any meanness in him, and he was loyal to a fault. Darcy couldn't imagine _not_ liking him.

Plus, he seemed like he'd know a lot of fun drinking games.

* * *

They hadn't been expecting to hear from Tony Stark. Once SHIELD had returned all of her research and equipment, Jane had been committed to (Darcy would say obsessed with) trying to recreate the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. When the renowned genius called and asked them to come by, it wasn't that hard to drag Jane away from her computers and notebooks; they weren't sure what information he could offer, but it was worth a visit. And there was no way Darcy was going to pass up the chance to see the inside of the famous Stark Tower.

When they'd arrived, an efficient woman introduced herself as Pepper Potts and showed her into the lab, where Tony Stark himself and another dark-haired man waited. Introductions were made, and "Call me Tony" and Dr. Banner gave them a very detailed, very boring tour of the lab and workshop facilities. All the while both of them kept glancing out the windows, although the skies were clear and had been the entire day. Finally they got into an elevator that opened into the living quarters, and Darcy breathed an audible sigh of relief. Ms. Potts was just finishing the introductions to Natasha Romanoff and Captain freakin' America Steve Rogers (apparently someone named Clint was absent, euphemistically "on business") when the sky darkened and there was a near-simultaneous clap of thunder and lightning flash. Thor strode into the room from the balcony, and Darcy grinned.

He was wearing his Asgardian armor and his hair was longer than last time. He embraced Dr. Banner, seemingly surprising the smaller man, who'd happened to be standing nearest the balcony. He boomed out greetings happily, all smiles and manly hugs and handshakes; the others looked just as happy to see him. Then Jane stepped forward, shaking, and Thor stared for a minute before rushing forward and scooping her up, kissing her soundly. Darcy's face hurt from smiling so much, and she was content to stay like that until Thor noticed her and made her ribs hurt from hugging.

* * *

Over the course of the impromptu party that followed Darcy had, with the help of her frenemy tequila, managed to make nearly everyone present blush, with the exception of Tony and Natasha. (It turned out the only drinking game Thor knew was "Drink to make your ancestors proud!" Darcy thought she'd probably passed that point and gotten to the level of "make your ancestors moderately ashamed.") She knew at some point she'd have to apologize to poor Steve, who'd turned crimson at her antics and seemed traumatized for the rest of the night.

When the party had started to break up, Steve had gallantly offered—or at least begun to offer—to escort Darcy home. Tony had cut him off and offered her the use of any one of the many sofas and spare beds, even suggesting that he'd make room in his own bed for her. Steve had scolded Tony, while Ms. Potts just smiled patiently and ignored him, and Darcy flung herself onto the nearest sofa. She was asleep before they turned all of the lights off.

* * *

Darcy woke up to a muffled crash followed by grumbling and then a soft glowing light. She sat up, groaned, and put on her glasses in time to see Thor come around the corner carrying a pitcher of water.

"Darcy! Did I wake you?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it." Someone had put a big bottle of water on the floor by the sofa, with a sticky note bearing her name affixed to it. She uncapped it and took a swig, then patted the sofa next to her.

Thor sat and drank directly from the pitcher. Did gods get dehydrated? Could he even get drunk to begin with? "I was impressed by your ability to imbibe," he said jovially.

"Just one of my many talents. Though I might've gone a little overboard in all the excitement."

"It was a joyous reunion. I am most glad to see my fellow warriors and the fair Jane and you again." He smiled down at her, the warmth in his eyes visible even in the gloom.

"Aw, thanks, Thor."

"Have you kept well since last we saw each other?"

"Mostly I've tried to keep Jane well, make sure she ate and slept. And then there was that unexpected little jaunt to Norway…although I'm lucky Jane demanded I got to go with her."

He nodded gravely. "I thank you for the care of my lady. You have done great service to her, and been a true friend. I am in your debt." He clapped a hand on her shoulder.

"You saved the world—more than once, apparently. I think I still owe you." Darcy yawned. "I'm glad you're back, and not just because it means I'll get some time off. I missed you, big guy."

"And I you, little lightning-sister."

* * *

She awoke the second time to find Thor snoring surprisingly gently. She had a crick in her neck from falling asleep against his rock-like shoulder, and made the customary vow never to drink tequila again. In the pre-dawn light she saw that Thor was wearing a hideous orange shirt at least a size too small for him, and that clenched it. Hangover or no, she was going to retrieve his homecoming present. It was a hell of a time for "Eye of the Tiger" to start pounding in her head, but she'd need an appropriate soundtrack for this errand and it was the first song that came to mind. She scrawled BE RIGHT BACK on the sticky note, stuck it to the half-empty pitcher, and carefully eased off of Thor and stood up.

The mission turned out way less dramatic and Darcy-against-all-odds than she'd imagined, even with theme music, since she couldn't even figure out how to get out of the building on her own. In the end she'd stumbled into Ms. Potts, who'd called a car to drive her to her apartment and back. She returned just in time to hear Tony's reaction when he learned that his refrigerator no longer had a door.

She dropped the box in front of Thor, who was eating what looked like the contents of an entire box of cereal and a gallon of milk from a mixing bowl. "What's this?" he asked, wiping milk from his mouth.

"Your homecoming present. Enjoy!"

He grinned and stood up, opening the folded cardboard flaps. The first one he pulled out was the Team Science shirt, and he laughed when he saw "Odinson" across the back. Stripping off the orange shirt, he tugged the new one over his head, and pulled Darcy into a hug. "Thank you, Darcy."

When he released her, she went back to the box and held the flaps open. With a smile, she asked, "Another?"

He returned the smile with a nod. "Another." And together they looked through the t-shirts that belonged to Thor and nobody else.


End file.
